Yes!Finally God thought i was ready for the world..and the precious gift of life was bestowed upon me.I came to reside in my mother's womb the most protected place on earth to me at present.I was to young to decipher the complex human lingo but even my immature brain could make out the joy and hope that hung about in the air that day...it was and affluent Indian orthodox family and already three girls being born everyone wanted a son to carry on the the respected name.,I really hoped i could live up to their expectation.
I visited the doctor for the second time today.he ran some tests and joy oh joy!! i am a girl,the very person on with humankind rests upon...the bringer of life and hope into this dark world.But hey! what is happening? why aren't my parents happy with me?Do i hear crying and lamenting? I don't understand?All of a sudden the atmosphere in the house is morose and sad.Is it because something i had done?i can hear grand ma raving about and my father having an equally loud say in the matter.the joyful celebrations that i had brought had disappeared.The day of the start of my adventure drew bright and clear.i was driven to a state of the art hospital and a clever doctor helped me out into this world after a short operation.As soon as i entered the world i heard a loud shriek from the man holding me and i was drenched in some sort of gooey liquid.the doctor had retched right on me.I gasped for breath and if not for the kind nurse ,who took me up and washed me,I would surely have been dead.as i was finally put into rest by my mother it finally dawned on me i was black and ugly all the thing any normal couple would detest in a child..even my mother refused to feed me and left me be.I bawled out in hunger and fear but all in vain.A month passed in pain and agony and the day of my homecoming finally arrived..but where were those cheers and care i was waiting for?Five blank faces met me at the door and not a word was said.the first word grandma uttered as i entered was a curse.Was i really such an outcast even before i started my life?
The same pain and torture followed me for months at my home..the place which was THE place for love and care turned out to be a living hell for me.Was there no one with a little pity inside for a poor helpless girl?some one who will feed her and care for her."SHUT UP" was the only word my grandma shouted when ever i cried out aloud.."Don't think we will wait on you hand and foot",yes i was to small to understand these words but it became clear that no one wanted to care for me.i was an outcast and unwanted thing forced into their life and they would breath a sigh of relief if i died.Though i was just a month old my father tortured and beat me often.He would have no pity to my cries and beat me black and blue.it was his only way of venting his anger at being denied a son.i knew i could be as good even better than any son but they never listened.My sisters were the worst of the lot...they had completely forgotten that they were once little girls..and they treated me with utter contempt slapping and pinching me at the tiniest chance available,eager to please mom and dad that they too shared their opinions.And my mother,the one who is supposed to love her child unconditionally be it a female and be it ugly,she ...was not a mother at all,she felt like an alien from outer space who had found a human it detested and was now bent upon inflicting pain on it.I loved her with all my heart and she hated me for it.i really wished that i could just leave this world and go away.
I couldn't express my wishes in words but the wish for death was powerful enough to reach god's ears and he set about fulfilling my wishes.One night as i lay alone waiting for my mother..i heard soft footsteps approaching my room..in came grandma clutching a pillow in the crook of her arm.She quietly approached my bed and in a swift motion clamped the pillow straight on my head.My frail heart beat about in frenzy and my small lungs wheezed about for air.But i was too small too frail to stop the act.My body shuddered for one last time and i died ending my short tortured life on earth.
Darkness surrounded me everywhere,i was lost,did not know where to go.Just at that moment a hand came down and held me in a firm but loving grasp.I followed the stranger out to bright sunshine..i was in a park full of happy children ,as 'BEAUTIFUL' as me,playing with each other.and at the far end there sat an old man surrounded by children on all sides,as i approached him he burst out laughing..the laugh was wonderful,it filled me with joy and happiness.i knew i was finally among people whom i loved and who loved me back,I was with people who will care for me far more than humans with their fake smile and wooden hearts!!FINALLY I WAS AT HOME WITH MY LOVING FATHER - THE GOD ALMIGHTY.
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